mini-me. you complete me.

I found my copy of the 7th grade talent show. Watching that and seeing some friends that I haven't seen in awhile was awesome. Of course as soon as I was done watching I Facebooked everybody and told them of the gold that I had re-discovered.

How are you? How is your life? What's new? I hope everything is going wonderful. Or if not, you're on your way to wonderful.

(I find it kind of ridiculous that 8th graders are visiting campuses now. SO strange. Why do you have to start worrying about college so early? There's the second group! WHERE DO YOU COME FROM??)

I have one class left for the day and then it's the weekend. Yessss.

Vanessa and I are going to see Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D this weekend. The clown with the tearaway face will probably terrify me. Creepy.

Family Force 5 on Sunday. YES.

Okay, this is enough. I'm wasting internet.

(in sinister, evil, terrifying voice)
Here in a flash and gone without a trace!

b.

random facts about me. like, really random.

I wasn't necessarily tagged by anybody, but I thought I'd start one again. These are always interesting to read, especially when you know (or think you know) the person pretty well. Ok, here goes:

1. I used to be afraid to fall asleep in public places (i.e. student lounges) but I think I've gotten over it because, sometimes, you just need to sleep.

2. I wear shorts in the winter. I don't know why I do, I don't find it that cold.

3. I'm a horrible test taker. And this semester my classes barely have any out of class work. So, I'm stuck with test grades. Which means I have to get better at this whole test taking thing. Gar.

4. The longest I've talked to somebody on the phone was Lauren. Which was clocked at about 3 hours. Hey, Virginia's a pretty long state. And by "pretty long" I mean ridiculously long.

5. There are certain people I admire for being themselves and standing up for themselves, no matter what. Lance Bass is one of them.

6. Speaking of Lance Bass, and it's not like this is not a well-known fact about me, but I still and always will love *//\\// Sync :]

7. The way I de-stress is by driving. And singing Carrie Underwood super loud doesn't hurt.

8. I think I have stage fright.

9. When I have a crush on somebody, I think I try too hard to be their friend. Meaning, I push for that friendship and then we're forever stuck in the "friend zone." But this time, I'm playing it cool. I hope.

10. I used to hate going line-dancing, or the mere thought of it, but after 2 years of resisting my friends, they finally convinced me to go. And I quite enjoyed it.



Yes. I'm done.

I think it's a bad thing that Doritos exist. Once I start eating them, I can't ever stop. And I loathe the small bags because they offer such a limited supply of sustenance. Curse you small bag of Doritos. Curse you.

I'm going home this weekend. It's mainly to work, but there's also a Halloween party at Erik's. I'm pretty excited to get away from campus. Every now and again I need that break, something to make things fluid again, not stagnant.

I've finally found a church here. FINALLY. And it's so nice. I like what the pastor has to say and I can really identify. It's new (it meets in a middle school cafetorium) and a lot of people my age are there. Nice.

Ok, the IT people are going to come steal the computers in 9 minutes. So, I am forced to sign off and actually head towards the building where my class resides.

Farewell Gentle Viewers. (If you get this, you should be my friend.)

b.

LOVE and the rest of life.

It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.

Loving people for who they are and not for personal gain. It's difficult, but I'm working on it.

I'm here in the campus libary, coveting the Mac OSX that I am playing on. Classes started about 4 weeks ago, and I am in them full throttle. I have 4 tests this week (1 down, 3 to go) and two of the tests are completely dry subjects that I kind of want to fall asleep upon immediately entering class. Gar.

Being back in PA is interesting. Along with being away from home again. You crave weird things when you're away from them. For example, I'm willing to drive to Nashville (and I know Lauren and Vanessa would join me) for a popsicle and a burrito. Yum. But not just any popsicle or burrito, Baja Burrito and Las Paletas. Perfection. And then from home I'm craving my dad's curried chicken on Sunday and mac and cheese with tuna and lots of pepper. Gah. I'm making myself hungry just thinking about it.

Family Guy season premiere, hilarious.

Vanessa said that I should update, and this is what I'm doing. I don't really have anything particularly interesting to say, so it's all pretty random ramblings. Which is a majority of some blogs I find. Except for the ones I read, because they're, well, interesting.

Matt Wertz and Dave Barnes are touring together. Basically, they should call it Tour of Awesomeness. Instead its "Two Birds/One Stone" Look for them if you're interested. Dave's basically a stand-up comedian and Matt's a pretty good performer. Plus, the two of them are best friends and they have awesome stage chemistry.

Okay, I'm going to surf the interwebs some more. Catch you on the flip flop.

b.

opportunities are arising as we type

Everything about Nashville feels so right. The idea of it, the closeness of it, the fact that it's happening, it all feels so right. Talking about it as if it's something I do every summer feels right. Everything has been working out so well, and I just pray that the events that precede this move are only foreshadowing the events that will happen in these two months.

Anyway...

As so obviously put previously, summer has kicked off. Most of my nights have been spent in somebody else's couch or floor or backyard or favored water bed. I sleep elsewhere for fear of waking my sister when I come home in the middle of the night. But they've been good experiences. I feel as if I live at my friend Erik and Aaron's house. I'm there that often. But they don't mind...I think.

Pray for my friend Renee, please.

I love when friendships pick up right where they left off. It seems to happen to me a lot lately because of college. For instance, my best friend Ali and I hardly find time to talk during the school year because we're both super SUPER busy. But when I come home, everything is wonderful and we take walks and find ourselves spilling our guts to each other about the past week or so's events. God bless "friend walks." Okay, I sound like a freaking Hallmark card. Somebody stop me. Yeeesh.

List O' Random Crap:
- Renee and I built a fire pit in Alicia's backyard. It's pretty ass-kickin.
- I shopped for 7 hours today. I'm going to die.
- For the first time shopping I did not buy a CD, book, or movie. I feel weird.
- $800 cameras take amazing pictures. (They should for that much money.)
- My youth group is falling apart. The board made a horrible decision in choosing a new leader. I'm sure there will be more on that later.
- Try this quesadilla: 2 shells, cheese and turkey dipped in mustard. Delish. College has certainly made my improvisational skills in the kitchen better.

It's late. I must go. My body feels like it's failing and fading away. I shall breathe my goodbye...

Bless,
Bika :]

haven't been here in a long time

I've been away, busy with school work and working on lots and lots of projects. And I've been lazy.

I leave school for the summer next Wednesday. I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited. I'm excited to interrupt this feeling of being stagnant. I find it difficult to sit in one spot for more than a couple of weeks at a time. I need that break from the norm. Routine frustrates me greatly.

Because of moving out of the dorms, I have to start taking things off of my wall. It's going to be depressing once my John Mayer, Johnny Depp, Talladega Nights and collages of pictures of friends no longer occupy my walls. My room will once again resemble a hospital, minus the disgusting smell.

In about a month I'm making the move to Nashville. I am pretty excited for this. This is going to be completely different from what I'm accustomed to. This summer I won't be surrounded by one Starbucks, small town diners where I walk into and everybody knows my parents and my mom's side of the family, Erik and Aaron's house about 5 miles away, horse and buggies slowing down traffic outside of Shippensburg, and Rita's. Instead it'll be minimal mountains, a decent sized city, the South, sweet tea :], fried chicken, Lauren and Tiffany, the opportunity to make new friends, spending time with people I normally don't get a chance to, and not having to drive 3 hours for the closest large scale concert.

I still feel like where I'm supposed to be
But don't forget to remember me
Tonight I find myself leaning by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in awhile
So I don't know what to say
But Lord I feel so small sometimes
In this big, ole place
Yeah, I know there's more important things
But don't forget to remember me
Don't forget to remember me*


(I love it when the time is 1:23 or 12:34)

Finals week is going to be hell. 300 terms to memorize for one test, technical audio terms to memorize for another, and psychology theories to memorize for another. My headache is getting bigger.

b.

(Blog editor, I didn't tell you to italicize, so don't italicize. GOSH.)

P.S. They're playing Dumb and Dumber on a 20' screen on the main quad. Brie and I are making it a date. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels at their finest. Here's to a night of Mary Swanson, owl killing, pretty birdy, and the world's most annoying sound :]

*"Don't Forget to Remember Me" by Carrie Underwood

if you can't dance in your underpants

(Then you don't stand a chance.)

Grown men dancing around in their underwear on stage is pretty much amazing.

I can't wait to graduate. I have 2 years. I'm close.

Forrest Gump is wonderful.

tennesee january, everything ordinary you're unlike everything i've seen

Tennessee never fails to capture my heart. This road trip definitely makes the top 5 :) In case you are wondering what that list is:

1. July 2005 - Nashville, TN/Winston-Salem, NC
2. August 2004 - Baltimore, MD/DC
3. January 2007 - Boston, MA/SUCO
4. April 2006 - Nashville, TN
5. March 2007 - Atlanta, GA/Nashville, TN

Wonderful times, wonderful memories.

Seeing my Milligan friends was wonderful. Seeing Milligan was surreal. It was a strange, distant, yet familiar, planet. I knew all of the customs but not the new people. I still had the back roads memorized, but landmarks had been removed. It felt like I was going home after a long time away. And the best thing about this trip? (Besides Hawk Nelson) The feeling that no time has passed. It's been almost a year since I've seen these people and we picked up right where we left off. If anybody knows a better feeling than that, please, point me towards it.

Nashville was amazing.
Atlanta was amazing, but I was antsy to get to Milligan.
Chattanooga was pretty sweet. Wish I would have been able to see more of the city.
JC was pretty much the same.

I feel like being in a coma. I need to sleep. And bring on the suffering that my friend Amanda has dubbed "PSBD." (Post Spring Break Depression) Bring it PSBD. I'm ready.

Bless.

thank you helpy mchelperton

I feel like a kid again. I just finished watching Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls and now I'm listening to early 90's pop. It feels so wonderful :)

I met this incredible girl yesterday. She just started working at Papa Chicago's with me. She and I got to talking and discovered that we were both Christians. And hearing her story and love for Jesus and music and longing to go to Nashville, really helped me come to the conclusion that everybody you meet is not an accident. That everybody you come into contact with is worth something. She's coming here next year, I can't wait to see how this friendship develops.

Exactly one week until I am back in Tennessee. It's been almost a year since I've been there and seen these people. But if the trend keeps up like it was at PCTC, it will seem like no time has passed. I don't know what my initial reaction will be to be looking some of my best friends in the face again. I hope I don't cry, but I probably will. I know I'll laugh and scream. Shannon and I will probably do the girly jump up and down thing. Wes and I will hug our normal hug (only this time, it applies :) I can't wait for next Sunday! Everywhere I look this week, I'll see somebody from Milligan, I know it. And that will drive me crazy.

I'm not one to normally give something up for Lent. I've thought about it years past, but I never committed. This year, I thought I'd try it. But instead of giving something up, I decided to read a chapter of the Bible each night. Starting with Romans, I realized I started with one of the most depressing books. But I've found some treasures I can apply to my life: Trust in God, Trust me. It's something that I've been desperately working on. I'm getting better and trusting God, and knowing that he's got things under control.

I think I've reached that point. I had a dream last night where I suddenly discovered that I had wings. But to me they looked like wings you could purchase at the local dollar store. But when I walked up to the balcony to jump, I hesitated once, then I thought to myself: "He's got you. You're okay," and then I jumped. And it was an incredible feeling, flying through this fantasy world I had created. Oh, and James Van Der Beek was there for some reason. But he's really not relevant to this dream.

This is longer than I intended. But listening to Hanson gets me this way. Too bad they are going to be in Allentown tonight and I can't see them. I have to work. I don't think I feel like going anywhere tonight though, I'm not feeling like I'm missing anything.

But I am still a Hanson fan.
Don't get me wrong on that one.

Bless.

today is not forever, tomorrow will come in time

Love to Jonathan Steingard.

I just talked to my best friend on the phone. 3000 miles sucks, and phone's cannot make up for that distance. But it's worth it to deal with it. I'll see him this summer :)

1 week from departure. I'm feeling it. Everyday seems to drag. As if everybody is coated with molasses. Praise Jesus I only have 3 days of classes this week.

Mark Paul-Gossalear on SVU? Yes, please.

I guess this is one of those blogs that I kind of type and hope that something insightful or inspirational will flow from my fingers. But honestly, I just felt like posting and rambling. Because I don't seem to ramble enough to my friends...(okay, that's a lie.)

For those of you that don't know yet:
My friend Matt Wertz, after three years of me listening to him and getting to know him, is finally in stores. Everything in Between hit stores this past Tuesday. Mainly local music shops, but he is in both Borders and Barnes and Noble. I'm not gonna lie, I had some tears of joy. It's exciting watching a friend succeed. Upsetting yeah, but I do want the best for him :)

Not only is Mark Paul-Gossalear is on SVU, he's playing a porn star....I wonder if his porn name is Zack Attack.

I played with more buttons today in the studio.

This is basically my mind, random sentences and blurbs that kind of pop into existence. It's a way of getting things out. Plus, close friends read this. They understand :)

Where do you go when you're alone? The rain on your face, the wind and the cold. You smile cause you know, you're not far now. This is your escape and everyone knows that. California seems so far from where ever you are.

Bless.

and we're still safe and sound

Sometimes I think about getting older and it excites me.
Sometimes I think about getting older and it terrifies me.

Every once and awhile I'll long for the days that I could just come home from school and sit and watch "The Game" on PBS and joke around with my dad and sister. When I had my own bedroom in the attic where I had my privacy and "NSync Sanctuary." Those were the days.

But then I think about the limited knowledge and freedom I had. Having the ability and the courage to just pick up and go somewhere, I love that feeling. I treasure it. Knowing that I have somebody taking care of me and protecting me and watching out for me while I live my life.

I'm safe in his arms. I know I am.

Live life on the edge, you'll be safe.

random people handing out cereal in the woods can't be safe

That was a Nature Valley commercial that was just on. Who would trust an old lady in the middle of a redwood forest giving out cereal? Honestly people, didn't you listen to your moms??

So, remember that paper? Yeah, I get to class Wednesday night and I get about 2 weeks of homework piled on my desk in front of me and I kinda stare at my wonderfully attractive, yet short professor and kinda wanna shoot myself. I can't be sick anymore for that class. So, procrastination is not an option when it comes to this work.

I'm in the recording studio tonight. 2 hours of working with beautiful equipment and pushing lots and lots of buttons. I love my major.

I'm glad the freak weather is back. I missed being able to breathe when the wind blew in my face.

Bika

i blame family force 5

They are the cause of my hoarse voice. But it was well worth it. It was weird without Lauren. Seeing as how she trained me in the ways of Family Force 5. She is my Sensai and I am her Grasshopper. ;)

What's so wonderful about your best friend having their own house? You have your own house (but you don't pay rent :) It works for a place to sleep when you didn't shovel out your own parking space. Oh the joys of living in the Northeast.

Scene it? is one of the most violent, addictive games.

I have a paper due tomorrow night that I have no clue what it's supposed to be about. Something about advertisements.

Reflection:
17 days until I'm back in Tennessee. Hopefully I don't become homesick for Milligan (well, my friends at least, definitely NOT Milligan), because I am not going back there. But I was thinking about next year and (yes, I can picture myself here next year, and graduating), but I feel like I should be moving on to another school. Like I should just school hop all over the country. That'd be nice. TN, PA...California next?

We'll see how it goes.

I also would like to place blame on Family Force 5 for my lack of energy today. They sucked it out of me yesterday.

My eyes are closing as I type.

I rest my case (and my eyes.)

this feeling won't go away, it's been knocking me sideways.

Restlessness. I have plans to go home this weekend. And it seems that Friday at 1:30 can not come any faster. I don't think it's really the desire to go home, it's more of a break from campus. From seeing the same thing day in and day out. Because honestly, I love where I go to school, but I'm one of those people that need to keep moving. (i.e. first weekend 2nd semester, I took a roadtrip to Boston)

Lack of graduating in a day is also making me restless. Thinking about this summer, I just kind of want to be finished with school and be on with my life. It's cool and all, I'm just sick of it.

Dave Barnes is love. ( myspace.com/davebarnes )

Valentine's Day was on Wednesday. I got a snow day. As with the curse of all snowdays, I can't go back to sleep after hearing the announcement at 8AM. Blast.

I feel like this post was pointless, but I felt the need to write.

Whatever.